The alternative to your current relationship is not the opposite of what it is.
And it’s likely not a better version of it either.
The alternative of hot and demanding is rarely hot and lenient. And the alternative of cute, hardworking and stingy isn’t always cute, hardworking and generous.
And if the perfect combo of everything you wanted in a partner did exist, u’d probably still want more.
- You wanted more after finally getting the car you dreamed of.
- You wanted more after finally moving into the apartment you dreamed of.
- And you wanted more after “the perfect moment” came.
We just want more.
So what’s the alternative?
1. Be Content With Who/What You Have
Some days it’s easier said than done, I know. Especially when your partner has no desire for “changing”. But let’s forget that for a second and try this instead. Bear with me ok?
Start a gratitude journal.
Every time you choose to write, pick one thing you love about your partner and expand on it. Why do you like it? Give an example of when it was displayed and how it affected you. Ask your partner to do the same and let each other have a read from time to time.
The more you build your partner up, the more you break their resistance to reciprocity.
Here are 2 entry samples from my early days with Natasha.
- Gratitude Journal Entry Sample (By Him)
Here's an example of an entry I wrote about my darling. For your inspiration.
- Gratitude Journal Entry Sample (By Her)
An entry in Natasha's journal about me. For your inspiration.
2. Make Lemonade With Your Lemons. And Add Mangoes.
It’s in the everyday happenings that the things we dislike about our partners come to the surface.
- The missed appointment due to tardiness
- The badly cooked meal
- The highjacked remote control
Instead of letting those moments make you wonder what-in-the-world you’re still doing with THIS person, turn them over their head.
- Try a backseat dinner if you miss the restaurant’s closing time
- Bring salsa to the table if the meal sits funny on your tongue
- Draw your apology letter instead of writing it
Even the cutest couples are dealt bad cards. But bad cards don’t guarantee failure, no, bad players do. There are scores of women who inspired average Joe’s to break records. Scores of men inspired average Joanna’s to become their best.
Make me envy the way you use your cards. I’m not stopping you and the world probably isn’t.
3. If You Choose To Quit, Don’t Look Back
Sounds counter-intuitive after the first two points, but it’s not. Looking back is a major happiness syphon in relationships. We wonder what could have been and miss the chance to enjoy what is: THIS relationship.
While you look back, time looks forward. Your partner stores up new experiences, good or bad, depending on how you treat them, and eventually you either repeat your past mistakes or build the best relationship you’ve ever had.
I like the sound of that second one better, don’t you?
Now replace the word relationship in this entire post with deal or business partnership, and the same would apply.
Your cards, my friend.
To wonderful relationships,
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