On Fear: The Emperor Has No Clothes 0 29

Greataholic

If you don’t know this powerful story yet, take a seat.

There was once an emperor who commissioned a new suit from 2 swindlers who posed as weavers. They ordered the best silk available, which they hid every night instead of using it for weaving.

To cover up their theft, they spread a fascinating rumour about this new suit: That is was so unique that only those who were worthy of their rank could see it.

If you couldn’t see it, you were unworthy, an imposter, a disgrace.

“What a splendid work of art!” The ministers marvelled as they inspected the evolution of the weaving. Truth is, they couldn’t see a thing, but none of them was ready to be called an fool.

“Oh my, this is amazing!” Exclaimed the emperor, as he saw it in his turn. Not once was there anything to see during the weaving, but the fear of disgrace got every one in and around the city to join into the lie.

On procession day, the emperor removed his clothes, stepped into his marvellous new attire and majestically paraded around town.

“But he’s got no clothes”, a child said. “He has no clothes”, the next person thought. Before you knew it, everyone came to their senses and shouted what had been apparent all this time: that the emperor has no clothes.

Yet. Convinced that only fools would think such a thing, the emperor continued his procession, smile on his face, along with his ministers holding a train made of thin air.

 

How Does This Story Relate To Fear?

1. Fear Is The Invisible Suit. To embrace it is to see something that doesn’t exist.

Just like the suit only existed in people’s mind, fear is an idea: That things will go wrong, that the uncharted territory is rigged with ambush and that the unattempted is so for a reason.

If you convince yourself to see it, you surely will.

The emperor ignored the voice in him suggesting that there wasn’t any cloth and had the opposite of what he expected. In attempting to avoid ridicule, he met ridicule.

In attempting to avoid failure, fear could lead you right to it. How?

  • You cannot eternally push back a launch date,
  • avoid an apology,
  • or avoid an assignment,

Without consequence. When fear knocks, do that thing right away.

 

2. Fear Begets Fear, just like the lie about the suit spread itself.

If you convince yourself that anything about a goal at hand is to be feared, it will become easier to accept the fear of everything else associated to it.

It is debilitating. It doesn’t make you more tactful.

If you need life in your best shot, do not launch it from a position of fear. Launch it from a place that says “I can make it because I said so.”

 

3. Courage Begets Courage, just like the truth about the invisible suit spread itself.

I could as well have said courage is the gateway drug to itself. It only takes one act of courage in the opposite direction of your worries to make you do more. Doesn’t matter how small, what matters is that your brain registers the idea that you are the kind of person who successfully faces challenges.

The rest will catch fire from there.

 

Rock on!

-Pat.

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Dreamer, doer and recovering average addict. I am the senior editor of greataholic.com and I'm very honoured to know you're reading this. Your attention is humbling.

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Love Me Again, I’ve Changed 0 21

Love me again

I’m a changed woman… please love me again.

…I’m a changed man.

Why do most people who seek a lover’s return present an improved character instead of improved looks? Because even the most well-intentioned lover hates an empty personality.

Every partner starts as a fan of your walk & talk, but soon enough the curtains fall and they see past the actor. They see the real you.

They realise you work different, love different and approach life different from what you let them believe on the stage where you met.

To your defence, I’d say the actor and person are rarely the same, so it’s kinda silly to expect you to remain exactly who they met.

However…

Wouldn’t you want to be a better catch to your partner as the relationship ages? You can. As a matter of fact, you should. Because wether your partner stays or makes the silly decision to leave, weak buildings don’t stand for long.

  • An empty character can’t withstand the pressure of a serious relationship.
  • And the fall gets worse after a breakup.

 

How To Strengthen Your Inner Fortress Before You Step Into Your Next Relationship:

1. Challenge Yourself, Try That Thing

Your partner will not come from your family. Which means you’ll have different views, interests, and those will often make you uncomfortable. To avoid the sting, trying new things. Often.

  • Go vegan for a week.
  • Seek acquaintances from people of different origins.
  • Lead every group you find yourself in.

As your experiences increase, so does your ability to love and tolerate. It’s like pouring a cup of salt in a spoon VS pouring it in an ocean. Wouldn’t it be more tolerable in an ocean? Grow your experiences and your heart will grow.

Challenge yourself before your next relationship does.

 

2. Tame Your Nerves

love me again - greataholic

What gets on your last nerve? Whatever it is, your partner will probably stomp and dance on that nerve better than anyone else. And when you get into that state, do you like your current response to it?

Map it out.

  • What’s the usual trigger?
  • What’s your usual response?
  • What response would you like to have?
  • What do those who have that response do that you don’t?
  • Do it.

 

3. Nerd’ Up

Successful people read, wishful thinkers don’t.  The secret to great love making, great business results, great faith and everything else under the sun is written out there.

If you don’t increase what you know, you risk hitting a frontier where you’d be of little help to the person you love.

Don’t stop learning.

 

Takeaway

At the base of every relationship is the principle of giving and receiving. To increase your ability to give and receive, widen your horizons. How? By improving:

  • The things you know of you,
  • The things you know of the world,
  • The way you do things.

You might want to start before your audience shows up.

 

To lasting relationships,

–Pat.

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The First Strokes On Your Canvas 0 31

Inspaholic 01

There’s nothing expected about the first strokes on a canvas.

At first they seem not to make sense. A random line, a circle here, a dot there. But as the artist moves on, it becomes evident how indispensable they were.

The same goes for the first lines on a tapestry. They rarely bear all the colours, but without them, the finishing touches which attract the beholder’s eye would not be.

However shapeless the first steps in following your dream seem to be, remember that they’re just the base lines of your tapestry. Beauty and acclaim will eventually come, but without the steps you’re on right now, they’ll have nothing to be built upon.

Can I invite you to keep going?

I’m waving your flag.

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