The Power of Vulnerability: 4 Things This Answer To ‘ What’s up? ‘ Taught Me About Life

The Power of Vulnerability: 4 Things This Answer To ‘ What’s up? ‘ Taught Me About Life

It was a friday morning at work and the atmosphere was filled with the joy of knowing we were finally a blink away from the weekend. I had my cup of coffee, made my ritual greetings and came accross Xander as I made my way to the weight loss station (poopoo box). When I asked him how he was doing, nothing prepared me for his response. It wasn’t his usual “doing good brother!” but rather one that made me slow down and walk to him, not past him. For once. Something in his answer grabbed my soul by the belt.




To men, vulnerability is a magnet. We fly to the rescue of women in need, to people under oppression and our stomachs boil in the presence of injustice. So I approached Xander. “All is not well brother”, he told me, before describing what was wrong in his life at the moment. He was blatantly honest and I couldn’t believe that as a tough guy, he wasn’t afraid of appearing weak before me. I thought as he spoke and we went on to successfully analyse possible solutions to his predicament together. Even as I walked away, I couldn’t stop searching my mind for additional ways to help.
Later that day, this event got me thinking and here is what I learned.


1. People Crave To Do Good

Have you ever noticed the tingles in your stomach when you drop a coin in a beggar’s plate or when you open the door to someone? Doing good is a unique experience. The fact that the feeling from it cannot be bought is the reason why we value it and are intrinsically addicted to it. Even the hardest criminals feel good about doing good. By opening up about his issues, my friend unconsciously gave me the opportunity to do good and I couldn’t resist. Now in your case, what’s to say the solution to the problem you’re in isn’t laying in the mind or resources of someone you know? I challenge you to give people the opportunity to do good.


2. To Receive, Give

Just like apples are fruit to apple seeds, my complete openness with regards to helping my friend was the result of his openness about his issue. How else could I have helped if I didn’t have all the cards in my hands? Very often we fail at relationships because we do not put in our partner’s hands all the tools required to succeed. We admit one thing but willingly omit another, and then blame them for not coming up with appropriate solutions. We do the same to our assistants and heck, even to our doctors! Rather than expecting people in our lives to fail us, let’s commit to giving them an honest chance to succeed.


3. See The People In Your Life As What You Would Want Them To Be

Unless my friend saw me as good, he would not have exposed his vulnerability. And because he did, I unconsciously mirrored his belief by actually being good. Ever noticed how a boyfriend would miraculously fix that appliance because you praised his dexterity? Or how a non-traditional wife would pull recipes out of nowhere because you consistently praised her cooking? As much as we become what we say, others become to us what we consistently believe of them. That is why we have to be careful of what we say of the people in your lives, regardless of how they may look on the outside. Words carry life.


[ Book suggestion: The 5 Love Languages ]
[ Product suggestion: The Millionaire’s Brain  ]


4. Vulnerability Is The Currency For Human Connection

Vulnerability in its simplest terms is the potential for damage. To avoid damage, we fix areas of vulnerability. But what happens when for a reason or another, those areas of vulnerability in our lives cannot be fixed? We hide them. They become secrets. And to who would you tell your secrets? Chances are, it’s to someone you trust.


Did you see that?


Vulnerability produces trust, trust leads to the exchange of secrets and this exchange creates lasting bonds. Loop closed. That is why if you look closely at the dearest people in your life, you will notice that your relationship has been or became so because of the  secrets you shared. A secret laugh that only you two shared, a secret tear only they saw, or the wretched you that only they ever got to live with.


Vulnerability is the currency for human connection and it accepts no substitute.
[ Book suggestion: Daring greatly ]

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